i know u wont be reading this..
thou i wish u would somehow..
i didnt mean to hurt u even a tiny bit..
yet i know i have hurt u to every bit..
i didnt mean to harm u in any way..
yet i know i have harmed u in every way..
i didnt know our journey will end so soon..
yet is it better than later?
i didnt know how things will be..
yet i know it was meant to be..
all day long i was sitting down..
daunting at the moment when this is about to happen..
and so it happened..when we are almost reaching 2 months of getting to know each other better..
i know u have hate me for everything that i have tried to explain..to tell u..
but u dont know how i wish u know what i am REALLY going through..
u are someone that had show me..
wat true love really means when i have given up hope of feeling one..
u thought me how to become a better person..
u cared for me for real..
ur thoughtfulness.. ur kindness.. ur love...
i felt it all so deeply..
that i thank GOD for allowing me to know you..
i thank GOD for bringing u into my life..
i pray to GOD i dont wat anyone else but you...
the day when u suspected me..
it wounded me..coz i didnt cheat on u in anyway..
i was just late in sending a sms..
yet it was s if a big sin was done..
i dont blame u for that..
coz it showed how u cared and loved me..
just as i was about to share about 'Us' with my loved ones..
how it breaks my heart when they werent supportive..
the remarks they gave me..
the words they used..
it wounded me so bad..
that i didnt want to share with u..
coz i NEVER mean to hurt u..
though i know with everything that we were going through..
it had hurt u bad enough..
as much as u love ur parents..
so m i..
how i wish i can go against their will for this..
yet i know there wont be blessing for US..
how i was told im a prisoner of my soul..
where i cant even make a decision for my self..for my own happiness..
wat a big loser i am...
i know u think i toy with u..
but the truth is..i was trying to make US happened..
i know u think i did this on purpose..
but the truth is.. i NEVER mean to hurt u in any way..
coz u know very well how i will be hurt for hurting u..
i know how u criticize me for not understanding wat loving someone is..
but the truth is i know.. i really love u and want to spend my life with u..
coz u have been part of me since from the beginning...
yet..the journey is too hard to continue..coz i dont wana further harm u..or hurt u..
i rather i suffer thru all the sufferings alone..
than to cause u more pain in the future..
i know u hate me now and foreva..
i know u will continue despising me..
i know u have discarded me completely..
i know u will NEVER forgive me..
but there a few things that i wish i had the chance to tell u..
the last conversation we had..
how u wished i will find someone else..
but u didnt know how i pray to GOD i dont want anyone else but u..
how u wished i wont contact u anymore..
how u wished i wont see u again...
those phrases torn me apart..
those phrases ripped my soul..
yet i dont blame u..
i deserved all the curse.. all the punishment..
for hurting someone so genuine like u..
i know i wont be able to find someone like u..
coz ur someone i wont hav the chance to be with..
thank you for finally telling me that u loved me..
i am sorry that u met me and being hurt by me..
and i wont forgive myself for hurting u either..
i dont know when the tears will stop..
