cant believe it myself..

27Feb 2010 - each time before exam or near exams...i will have the same 'issues' that needing me to make decisions... hence, it made me think whether i make the right decision each time especially during my unstable emo attack... nevertheless, wat is happening NOW is way beyond my expectation, especially when i thought i was strong and proud enough to say something that i shouldnt say (OMG)..it is my wildest dream to be in my current position.. but im not saying whether its right or wrong...but..just hope for the best and not to take things too seriously.. and things happened for a reason.. just hope what ever that was told to me is true.. and then.. it will be a new beginning..

no comment...

each time i asked about questions that would give me answers..

'no comment... no comment.. no comment...

had been the reply...

what does it mean?

just not interested..??

just dont wana know??

just dont wana care??

all things forgotten..?

all promises broken..?

all words are just not meant to be...

it left me wonder...

all these while..

the hopes and dreams...

were just a fantasy...

it aint, it wont happen for all reasons..

as..it was NEVER meant to be...

yet why my heart still aches..

and i truly felt the ripping sensation..

that i never felt before...

if only i can turn back time

if only i can turn back time...

and thought of the consequences..

then.. i wouldnt have to continue blaming myself..

even up till now..

when 'they' flow back..

the missing pieces..

the things which was well planned..

the secrets that were just meant to be secrets...

the wonderful hopeful phase..

that have now left unspoken..

had become forbidden..

had been engraved deep under ground..

if only u could understand..

if only u care to think..

if only u bother to care..

if only u want to bother..

it aint gonna happen after all..

coz no matter how or wat u think..

u aint gonna let me know..

until..when it's time according to u..

but by then... will it still be meaningful?