i dint expect to receive a msg from u..

since u told me that we shouldnt keep in touch at the moment..

i was lost in words when u told me..

u would wan me to see me with another man..

and u wil b with ur wife and child..

i really didnt know wat to say..

but i knew tears were rolling down at the moment..

i stil cant imagine being with someone else..

i dont know if i can ever be with someone else again..

but im praying hard u will be with someone else..

how u wanted children of ur own..

how u will love both ur wife and children...

i wish it will come true for u..

coz u DESERVE all of this..

seeing all the photos u took recently with ur sister and bros..

im happy that u smile with them..

i knew it was a genuine smile..

i hope that the smiles continue for as long as it is..

im glad u hav them to b there for u..

i miss those moments spent with u..and them..

but all left..are just painful memories for me..

i always wish u the best..

viral bug

i guess its fated..
the day when things go wrong..
when viral bug just attacked me at the right time..
made me worse than anything..
feeling so weak and helpless..
with fever and shivering..
with super throbbing headache..
which lead me to seeking MC..
and unfit for work..

feeling so weak..
made me realise that..
this is gonna be my life for as long as it goes..
no one to bother..
no one to care..
but nevertheless..
i will always remember that..
it is ALL MY FAULT..
no one to blame..

happy new year..

i dont know why..
but the ache is still there..
no matter wat i do..
no matter how i try not to think..
the memory will just flow..
it seems its just there..

everything that happened..
just reminds of him even more..
how could i pull through..
when the journey seems so hard..
everyone said time will tell..
but how long does it take..
its really affecting me so deeply..
yet i know theres nothing much i can do..
but move forward..
to not contact him no matter wat..
to not even let him think of me..
to let him just forget about me..
and continue praying..
for GOD to guide and care for him..
thats the least i could do for a this special person..
whom i wont hav the chance to be with me..
but to watch him from afar..