its annoying...

I'm pretty annoyed when ppl keep demanding this and that from me PERSISTENTLY... it pissed me off to the fullest... even though i may invite ppl to penang, i dont expect myself to pay for every single thing when the person is here..wan wat...aircondition rooms, with tv and free 7 meals...???? its so ridiculous...please be more understanding ler..think im one rich daughther who owns a bungalow or hotel and driving big big car is it??? just dont understand how come ppl can be so thick face to demand such things again and again when i already told that person of my difficulties in providing accommodation..even though i may be close to u, dont expect to be treated like a king ler..im using my dad's money FOR UR INFORMATION..if this person gonna pretend not to hear things i've repeated say, i wil be doing the same...just dont make take the drastic move of going to KL when ur here and i SERIOUSLY hope ur reading this...

tired and getting low...

9th April 2009.. the 3rd week of my DHP just passed by
without me knowing what have i done but waited many
hours for many many things... at times i dont even know
the purpose of the things that we were supposed to do...
the 30 clerkships is still a burden to me, much to my
disappointments and frustrations but it seems that all the
complaints and feedbacks have just fallen into deaf ears..
what is the point of feedbacks when none of the things that
students mentioned were being considered??? no wonder
many just dont bother writing anything anymore.. i also
dont see the point when the real objectives of the
clerkships were not being fulfilled. some just dont bother
to clerk the patients but just made themselves buzy by
copying directly from the case notes. its pretty annoying
to me especially when they wanted to present that case
during teachings without knowing much. i dont mean to
say that im a perfect student, but at least i have tried my
best to talk to the patients as best i could and read up and
discussed with my colleagues of my doubts... another thing
that bothers me were the behaviour of certain colleague
who are just so immature and seems to love irritating
others. for goodness sake, ur gonna be a doctor soon..just
get a goodlook of urself and behave professionally.. it
really affects our reputation.. probably im just bothering
too much, but sigh, these are tiny tiny bits of things that
just affects my mood...
neway, this week's aura wasnt strong enough. didnt
manage to conduct a delivery during my oncall on monday
thou i was helping and encouraging a mother who was
already in the second stage of labour for almost 2 hours
before she was sent to O&G specialist hospital for LSCS..
the OT is closed in papar..sigh..the experience for that
night wasnt pleasant and i guess we can never deny
mother's sacrifices or question their love.. all the
deliveries i observed or conducted since 3rd year really
made me appreciate all the things mum did for me even
more compared to last time. i no longer celebrate my
birthday in big occasions as i realised it was supposed to
be the day i truly appreciate and thankful to my mum for
all the contraction and labour pain she went through to
'push' me out into this world...
hmm...its such a tiring week thou i didnt do much...sigh... i
may wana recupirate for the weekend before the exciting
moment of 16th april 2009. probably all of us would be
oncall on 15th april 2009 to welcome the BIG DAY.. its also
time to hit the books after writing a few of the
clerkships..im really lack of time..

tired and frustrated...

1 week in papar...its interesting yet, tiring...interesting is that we get to have hands on experience on procedures and the doctors and nurses as well as the assistant medical officers who are very nice to guide and help us around.. really thankful to have these kind wonderful people around. my first oncall on last tuesday wasnt buzy but my partner and i were lucky to have conducted 2 deliveries each as many of our gp mates are with a single or no case at all. we are supposed to conduct at least 3 deliveries.. hmm, pray hard that i would be able to finish mine nex week thou..having my next oncall on monday and heading back to papar on sunday.. was still thinking whether to change my bedside teaching with my fren...hmm... neway, the shocking part i had last weds, which was my postcall, was a mother actually told me she didnt mind delivering every year if im the one conducting for her..OMG.. really so embarassing ler.. and when i asked her why, she said its because i have the understanding, caring and empathy heart.. really so touching and yea, i dont deny that i was smiling broadly at that time.. but the smile came to a stop when i was doing the immunization to their newborn babies... its been 6 months since i last injected a newborn, with BCG and hep B injection. its the BCG injection that is the toughest one as its intradermal..2 attempts failed as the babies were moving all about and the poor babies were crying their lungs out at me...huhu..and no doubt, the mothers were staring at me but i darent even look at them.. ouchie..i had my share of how painful the injection was when i had the Montoux test done on me today...sorry to the poor little cuties...

other than that, im having my sleeping problems back..i keep waking up a few times per nite or having bad nitemares... its pretty disturbing as i would be very tired and sleepy during the class time..yeah, doze off a few times in class and the worst was one of the lecturer was so mean enough to snap the photo..i dont know if he managed to snap the photo while i was sleeping, but my eyes were wide open when i saw the camera blinking...haih..another embarassing moment if he published that to the school board...kinda irritated to my group mate who just need to turn his head and check on me every time in class...

another thing that is bothering me is being pushed to do things that i dont wana do even though i tried explaining a few times...i hate it the most when others tried to control my life...give me a break and leave me alone... it simply pissed me off so badly...when im in such bad mood, i have to interest to do anything that im supposed to do... i thought i could handle it well, but i guess mum could sense the pain in me that i blurted out everything to her... i felt better in a way... but still, its bothering me..sigh.. all i wana do now is to finish up my work which i have been procrastinating and prepare well for things i have to do...all d best to me...