Friday, April 3, 2009

tired and frustrated...

1 week in papar...its interesting yet, tiring...interesting is that we get to have hands on experience on procedures and the doctors and nurses as well as the assistant medical officers who are very nice to guide and help us around.. really thankful to have these kind wonderful people around. my first oncall on last tuesday wasnt buzy but my partner and i were lucky to have conducted 2 deliveries each as many of our gp mates are with a single or no case at all. we are supposed to conduct at least 3 deliveries.. hmm, pray hard that i would be able to finish mine nex week thou..having my next oncall on monday and heading back to papar on sunday.. was still thinking whether to change my bedside teaching with my fren...hmm... neway, the shocking part i had last weds, which was my postcall, was a mother actually told me she didnt mind delivering every year if im the one conducting for her..OMG.. really so embarassing ler.. and when i asked her why, she said its because i have the understanding, caring and empathy heart.. really so touching and yea, i dont deny that i was smiling broadly at that time.. but the smile came to a stop when i was doing the immunization to their newborn babies... its been 6 months since i last injected a newborn, with BCG and hep B injection. its the BCG injection that is the toughest one as its intradermal..2 attempts failed as the babies were moving all about and the poor babies were crying their lungs out at me...huhu..and no doubt, the mothers were staring at me but i darent even look at them.. ouchie..i had my share of how painful the injection was when i had the Montoux test done on me today...sorry to the poor little cuties...
other than that, im having my sleeping problems back..i keep waking up a few times per nite or having bad nitemares... its pretty disturbing as i would be very tired and sleepy during the class time..yeah, doze off a few times in class and the worst was one of the lecturer was so mean enough to snap the photo..i dont know if he managed to snap the photo while i was sleeping, but my eyes were wide open when i saw the camera blinking...haih..another embarassing moment if he published that to the school board...kinda irritated to my group mate who just need to turn his head and check on me every time in class...
another thing that is bothering me is being pushed to do things that i dont wana do even though i tried explaining a few times...i hate it the most when others tried to control my life...give me a break and leave me alone... it simply pissed me off so badly...when im in such bad mood, i have to interest to do anything that im supposed to do... i thought i could handle it well, but i guess mum could sense the pain in me that i blurted out everything to her... i felt better in a way... but still, its bothering me..sigh.. all i wana do now is to finish up my work which i have been procrastinating and prepare well for things i have to do...all d best to me...

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