nice meeting up...gona miss u ppl again...

being able to meet my dearest buddies yesterday was one of the best moments i had for this holiday...it was nice catching up with alicia and jean nie as justin, dinesh, vassun and myself had met up 3weeks ago during the first meeting up in which chin yen and shun yit were present as well. it was back to our 'usual' place, egate's starbucks. the last time i met alicia was like 2 years back i think and that time only 3 of us, she, justin and me were present.. dinesh was still in ukraine while yit was having some sickness i think.. okies..it was overall a nice catching up time and most are or will be in the working line soon, with me, justin and alicia the remaining students in the group..keke..just hope things will go on smoothly for all of us.. some things just wouldnt change as we would still be gossiping about the same thing all over again with more juicy stuffs to add in as the time goes by.. =) we had some fun telling jokes and experiences etc etc.. ya, indeed miss those times when all of us were in penang, now a bit hard to organize a reunion with everyone present as there will be different working hours and a number not in penang or malaysia like ernest in NZ, yong chang in Aussie, alicia also will be returning to UK next week and not sure when will be the next time she comes back, and also the rest whom we have not met for ages.. im kinda being bullied my dinesh for this heavy responsibility of informing others which i dreaded like hell so, im sorry to those whom i didnt inform as i dont have everyone's contacts.. i simply dont fancy the sentence when they said 'im the best organizer and without me, they will not have reunions etc etc'..its a 'trap' , not a compliment im very sure as they would be expecting me to organize again and again which i have indirectly been doing... BIG BULLIES... probably they just know me too well to say 'NO' when they asked me to..haih..my heart softens for them..

alrite..i better get my work done...its another 2 more days...aiyo..sien nia...

two days of shopping madness......sorry dad...

wow...it has been a long time since i went for a shopping
spree..and really kesian my poor dad who felt that i was
revenging by shopping..hmm how true it was..it was really luck
that we went shopping when i was feeling down and upset over
some issue..i was happy to see so many things on sale, some up
to 70%, so it was digging time and trying so many blouse and
shirts...i bought 2 jeans, 4 blouse and 1 singlet...and today
bought a new alain delon shoe which i like so much..yippie.. dad
already screaming for mercy by staring his biggy eyes at me
and saying what ever i touch, may it be shoe, sandals or
basically anything to be not nice so that i wont need to try and
then the next thing he knows, his credit card would be
swapped again... i guess i covered almost everything that i
wana buy except those toiletries.. i wish the government will
really implement the same price for things in sabah and
sarawak as the differences for toiletries are a few ringgit
each item. imagine all the extras ppl over there have to pay
and mind you there are many ppl who are really really poor
that even RM1 for seeing a doctor in government hospital
means a lot to them.. p/s: i just hope that my luggage wouldnt be
overweight...hehe..and ya..i still forgot my food items...oh
my..and dad just counted, his credit card bill already passed
the RM1k line, and that's only for one of his
cards..oopsieeeeeeee

two days of shopping madness......sorry dad...

wow...it has been a long time since i went for a shopping
spree..and really kesian my poor dad who felt that i was
revenging by shopping..hmm how true it was..it was really luck
that we went shopping when i was feeling down and upset over
some issue..i was happy to see so many things on sale, some up
to 70%, so it was digging time and trying so many blouse and
shirts...i bought 2 jeans, 4 blouse and 1 singlet...and today
bought a new alain delon shoe which i like so much..yippie.. dad
already screaming for mercy by staring his biggy eyes at me
and saying what ever i touch, may it be shoe, sandals or
basically anything to be not nice so that i wont need to try and
then the next thing he knows, his credit card would be
swapped again... i guess i covered almost everything that i
wana buy except those toiletries.. i wish the government will
really implement the same price for things in sabah and
sarawak as the differences for toiletries are a few ringgit
each item. imagine all the extras ppl over there have to pay
and mind you there are many ppl who are really really poor
that even RM1 for seeing a doctor in government hospital
means a lot to them.. p/s: i just hope that my luggage wouldnt be
overweight...hehe..and ya..i still forgot my food items...oh
my..and dad just counted, his credit card bill already passed
the RM1k line, and that's only for one of his
cards..oopsieeeeeeee

what does my birth date says about me according to FB....it is super super true..goodness

birthday date : 18 --------------------------------------------

Your Life

At first glance, people think you are quiet type of person. Actually you are cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character only in good mood. One the other and, when you are moody, no one would dare to be around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character, some find you hard to be around.

Your Love

You hardly show your feeling towards opposite sex no matter how much you like him/her. Your partner also has similar character so Your Loveaffairs often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your sincerity makes you very attractive.Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity. There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself. You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator. You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous, a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas. Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed. There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others.

birthday date : 18 --------------------------------------------

Your Life

At first glance, people think you are quiet type of person. Actually you are cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character only in good mood. One the other and, when you are moody, no one would dare to be around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character, some find you hard to be around. Your LoveYou hardly show your feeling towards opposite sex no matter how much you like him/her. Your partner also has similar character so Your Loveaffairs often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your sincerity makes you very attractive.Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity. There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself. You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator. You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous, a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas. Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed. There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others.

i wish i dont have to go thru this again...

even though it was barely 2 hours,the short coffee session was more than enough,for me to realise how naive i was,or was it how pathetic i was,to keep the hope alive,a hope that was long gone,and would not ever happen again..
i missed my chances 6 years ago,and never will i have it back ever again,it seems easier to say than done,but i guess thats something i have to endure,whether i like it or not...the stabbing pain will forever be feltthe haunting memories will always be present..and the embarassment of every meeting will be swallowed though its so hard...
its time for me to build up my strength,im sorry for giving u the negative impression,i have my own reasons that u dont know,and i just dont have the heart to tell u about it..u have ur own worries..u have ur own goals..it seems that we have drifted very far apart,and im not sure if there is still the string to pull us back..i hope there is, even though the more u speak,the more i felt i am talking to a different person..its good that u have changed for the better..u have ur life, ur goals, ur determination..i guess i could only watch from far..like wat i have been doing all these while..to pray silently for ur well beings..and always hoping the best for u..thank you for still remembering me..as frens we will forever be...and please never give me any hope ever again...its more than enough..please...its torturing...

will i let the chances slip away again???

when i received the call during dinner time,
i was surprised to see the unknown number,
i was at first irritated as i thought it would be yet the time,
when i had to entertain some unknown number,
however, i was even more surprised when i heard the voice,
the voice that was familiar and i was so long to hear,

i wish the person had call earlier
so that a more proper arrangement could be made
so that i wont have to reject a second meeting up
so that i wont have to hear the gloomy voice when i said i couldnt
so that i wont have to cry so badly inside
so that i wont have to feel the stabbing pain that i thought was long gone
so that i wont have to feel my 'second chance' slipping away...

it was a different feeling i din expect to feel
it was a torture i din expect to feel
it was a dream i din expect to happen
it was a nightmare i din expect to repeat
im jumbling everything up
im having all the mixed feelings
im going thru more pain than i used to have...

why?
why is it happening again?
why cant i fully let go of IT when i strongly said i could?
why do the feelings keep coming back?
why are the memories still haunting me?
why am i so weak inside???

i am lost again in my own thoughts
i am lost again in my own dreams
i am lost again in my own nightmares
but will i be found again in a warm secured place that i used to share?

i cant control the tears inside
neither could i control the tears that rolled down freely...
i wish i could do more than what i have done...
the guilt is too much for me to handle..
the pain is too much for me to bear...
but yet the feelings that is deep inside me has never left
i wish i could tell u the truth
though i know it will scare the hell out of u again
and this time the consequences would be worse
as u once told me before, it would...
but shud i just let the chance slip away again....???

haih..the dreaded syndrome of going bk to KK...

it will be another 10 more days before i fly back to KK..its terrible when the 'syndrome' i dreaded most is hitting me back..sigh..i guess i just have to accept the fact that life will be a total hell after this...im more worried that looking forward for my FINAL year..i dont know why but its haunting me daily..i just pray that things will go on well for the coming year..

neway, its a pretty buzy last weekend starting from last friday.. bro came back and the whole family went to take our dearest most awaited proton exora..its the new family car which is meant for bro's wedding and for future use..bro 'opened ceremony', being the first to drive and get used to the car, dad was the second person while i only managed to drive once on sat with bro patiently sitting beside me..(thanx to him for convincing dad that my driving is ok) ..but,dad is still not confident with me, but i aint gonna let go of any chances that i will have..its a bit pressured driving the biggy new car as dad constantly reminded us its for bro's wedding..its his newest darling..keke...

hmm..ok, i better get my reports done by hook or by crook this week..still have a few frens i need to meet, hope to be able to do so before i fly...till then..chiaoooooooooo