when i received the call during dinner time,
i was surprised to see the unknown number,
i was at first irritated as i thought it would be yet the time,
when i had to entertain some unknown number,
however, i was even more surprised when i heard the voice,
the voice that was familiar and i was so long to hear,
i wish the person had call earlier
so that a more proper arrangement could be made
so that i wont have to reject a second meeting up
so that i wont have to hear the gloomy voice when i said i couldnt
so that i wont have to cry so badly inside
so that i wont have to feel the stabbing pain that i thought was long gone
so that i wont have to feel my 'second chance' slipping away...
it was a different feeling i din expect to feel
it was a torture i din expect to feel
it was a dream i din expect to happen
it was a nightmare i din expect to repeat
im jumbling everything up
im having all the mixed feelings
im going thru more pain than i used to have...
why?
why is it happening again?
why cant i fully let go of IT when i strongly said i could?
why do the feelings keep coming back?
why are the memories still haunting me?
why am i so weak inside???
i am lost again in my own thoughts
i am lost again in my own dreams
i am lost again in my own nightmares
but will i be found again in a warm secured place that i used to share?
i cant control the tears inside
neither could i control the tears that rolled down freely...
i wish i could do more than what i have done...
the guilt is too much for me to handle..
the pain is too much for me to bear...
but yet the feelings that is deep inside me has never left
i wish i could tell u the truth
though i know it will scare the hell out of u again
and this time the consequences would be worse
as u once told me before, it would...
but shud i just let the chance slip away again....???
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