S.I.E.E.S

it is the time again when i was hit by the SIEES.. it is really the moment i dreaded most as the pressure load in me is beyond what i have imagined..i thought i was mentally prepared for this year but in the end, i am still weak and finding my way through the 'thick jungle' where im lost too many times to be exact..i didnt expect my tears to roll down again last night, over all this workload and the issue that im being bothered with.. being pushed to admit what ever inside me was something i didnt expect and it was so uncomfortable..so wat if i revealed? so wat if the other person knows the things i dislike? so what if the person knows im annoyed of the fact that im being ignored??? blame it on the network, ya right but in the end, i NEVER do that, leaving important msgs and questions unreplied even when im so dead buzy..it certainly ANNOYED me...as most of the time when i sent msg to someone nowadays, it meant im really in trouble and really need someone to talk to..if not i wouldnt even want to send, wats the point when all i got in return was emptiness and hopelessness...hence, it kinda hurt me in a way when someone who promised to be there for me and telling me to contact when i needed someone as the hp wil be on 24hours, also din wana bother me...fine...fair enough.. since im so unwanted, so ignored, so not welcome, i will return to my own nature of keeping everything to myself... i've had enough of waiting, waiting and waiting... its a torture... it really is..