the pain continues...

its really painful..
to know u are not in the list of frens..
yet u are still seeing the updates of the person u care so much..
to know the suffering he is going through..
as much as u hav wanted to just give a call..or text
just to ask how he is doing..
but having to hold back..
coz u had promise not to disturb him anymore..
it was indeed such a tough feelings..
yet this is wat i hav to endure..
no matter how i dislike it..

last nite..
i was holding back the msgs i intended to send to 4 ppl..
who hav treated me like their own family members..
only for me to hurt them with my selfishness..
i finally sent coz i know i had to..
but the replies i received..
made me cry even more..
not only they didnt hate me..
not only they didnt have bad intentions towards me..
but they are supporting me with so much of care..and kindness..
and still treating me as a fren..as a sister..

i wont ask for anything else..
but for GOD to bless this kind family..
for GOD to bless him with someone better..
coz he deserves someone better..
even though i will be hurt..
wil b in so much pain seeing him with someone else..
i wil stil continue praying for his happiness...
coz he deserves it..he really does..