i wont...

the pain of waiting is really draining me..
yet i continued waiting and waiting..
was it cause i was expecting too much..
or was it cause i was caring too much..
or was it cause i was worrying too much..
i wish i dont have to be like that..
as it affects me totally thou i said repeatedly i wont..

i guess i should really should stand firmly..
on the statements i always said i will do..
not to let anything affect me..
not to let anyone destroy me..
i just wana be me, myself..
appreaciating things i do for myself..
loving myself before others..
caring for myself before others..
i repeat.. I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY..
i hope the tears will stop flowing..
the pain will ease..
and the smiley me will return as it is..