its sad

Its really painful daily... But he has been there for me despite all tat i have done... It breaks my heart ... Coz i know its wrong to do this... Yet y cant i stop msging him??.. Y is it tat im hating myself even more daily??? I really dont know wat else i shud do... Im lost in everything... He told me today not to ruin myself.. But i really dont look forward to anything.. It seems so empty...so dark.. N...i jus dunno wat else i shud do... I hav lost faith... I dont believe my prayers wil b answered... Im really pathetic....