what a crappy day???

28th october 2009..
its the day when things go bit haywire..
or should i just say not so well..
firstly...i owe someone an apology..
a realy NEEDED apology..
for wrongfully bursting when i shouldnt..
saying things that i shouldnt..
when i know it was meant well..
i have went thru times when i needed my own space..
my own space to think, to reflect or to cry..
but why didnt i understand when someone needed one?
or i was just overly worried that something might have
happened from the conversations we had?
that i got annoyed when i was ignored..
i dont mean to hurt that person by typing..
'i aint gonna care or bother'..
coz deep inside i still very much care and want to care..
thou i felt rejected or outcasted..
i know i cant leave someone alone when he/she is down..
the same goes for this person..
who meant so much to me..
who was there for me when i was low..
who has been supportive when i needed strength..
and i guess its time i stand by that person as long as it takes..

then...talking to another important person in my life..
suddenly reality hits me..
it was something that i fear..
but i didnt expect the person to share the same thought..
hence came the question..
is it right to even start in the first place..?
when the future isnt something we might have hoped for?
will we be able to handle the obstacles upon us..?
or we will just give up when its just to hard to handle??
the journey isnt something easy from the beginning..
yet im hoping i will be able to carry on with the combined strength and determination..

the third thing..
some ppl just talk without brains..
yet they think they are just damn smart..
buzz of idiots..yes i just have to use that..
coz its damn irritating and ur just nothing but losers...

i hope tomorrow wil b a better day..
for i havent been outbursting for so long..
and just hope some babies will be cheering me.
coz i needed some smiles to carry on..