hmmmm

i dont know y..i had a few blackouts late at nite..as if my brain was shutting down.. but last nite was d first nite i had a sleep without disturbance...deep sleep without nitemares after such a long time... i dont know was it becoz i finally met. my dearest biby after so long... or was it d hug that he gave me... a hug i long so much... or was it coz i know he still really care for me... thou i may seem to tell him im prepared to b alone... but in reality..im actually very scared... but i know its something i wil b doing without regrets... i din know why mum was so smart.. when she knew the person im buying d knee guard is for him.. i din wanna lie to her.. so i juz told her its for his mother.. i dunno if i shud tell her tat he has belong to someone else.. but i dunno y i din hav that courage to tell her so.. partly coz i dun wan her to worry about me... partly coz i dun wan her to kp telling me to open up when i wont.. i dont know y my heart stil doesnt feel good... i know he is troubled wif many things... but i know he wont open up to me as well... i really hope things wil improve for him..really...