its ruined...

I hav learnt tat life is just full of lies.. I will b d stupidest person to let myself being ruined.. But i hav to thank all d ppl who said they care for me.. Wat is care when all their actions are meant to hurt me?? Ppl who gave me nothing but empty promises... Ppl who simply like to use the 'sentence'.. I will b thete for u if u need me... If u really care for a person... U dont need to just b there when they need u... Arent u suppose to b there when they dont need u to? Not everyone is a drama queen.. If u really wanna b there for someone..u dont wait til ur asked to b there... So..its just bullshits saying u wil b thete but in reality ur not... Temporary is a word i learnt recently... I dont know y i believed everything n trusted everything... Only to b told it was temporary... But then i hav to realise this great teaching... Coz it made me realise theres no point to move on... After all...i stop believing.. I lost in faith.. I dont remember wat happy means anymore... Its already so painful knowing the person u love..believe n trusted no longer love u... Its even more painful to know when he question y did u came to his life?i Its ok he doesnt know all this pain im going thru coz of him... I have 'lost' my family... I have 'lost' a place call home... I have lost the person whom i wanted to spend my life wif.. I have lost the dream i was made to believe... I have lost the precious thing in me..in which i believed him to giv him to.. I have lost a future i thought i had... I dont need anyone to tell me time wil heal... Coz i wish time wil juz stop for me... I dont need anyone to tell me they believe i wil have my happiness.. When i dont even know wat happy means anymore.... I dont need anyone to tell me wat is love anymore... Coz i know love is just bullshits... Im living coz im living.. I dont look forward to anything coz theres nothing to look forward to.. Welcome back to the old self..full with darkness...loneliness..n bitterness.. Im only meant to live like tat...